The Sun Also Rises

March 29, 2024 | By Matt Pang Cornell ‘25

image description: sun rises behind golden grass

I don’t like to spend time with others anymore. Human nature is a frightening thing, isn’t it? On Good Friday, we’re reminded of the most troubling truth of all: we killed Jesus.

He feeds us and washes our feet, and yet, we’ve nailed Him to the Cross. This is why I don’t go out as much these days. If we’re capable of killing our best friend, who’s to say someone won’t do the same to me? If love incarnate was flogged and beaten unmercifully, it’s only a matter of time before I, the worst person I know, suffer the same fate.

Thus, I keep to myself. Most afternoons after I’ve finished all my classes, I like to watch the sunset in a secluded area behind my dormitory. It’s the only thing that brings me hope. Even in the midst of the biting Ithaca cold, I continue this ritual because it reminds me that in the depths of winter, there remains an invincible summer. [1] But when the sun finally sinks below the horizon, my anguish returns, as it is a reminder of Christ’s death and how my wrongdoings put Him in the grave.

At the day’s end—when I close my eyes—I often fear that I will not awake from my sleep. But thankfully, I do, and by the grace of God, the sun also rises. Life, once lost, shall resurrect.

Nevertheless, I still dread the day this world will take my life. Yet within me, joy persists. Joy in Christ’s resurrection—that no matter how hard the world hates me, I will resurrect.

References:

[1] Camus, Albert. “Return to Tipasa.” Essay. In Personal Writings, 123. New York, NY: Vintage International, 2020.