To the Suffering Christian
April 1, 2023 | Kane Xu MC ‘25
image description: small fire on beach
To the suffering Christian,
I didn’t know that suffering could be this painful. After the onset of some health problems, the past two months for me can be best summed up with Psalms 31:9-10:
9 Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am in distress;
my eyes grow weak with sorrow,
my soul and body with grief.
10 My life is consumed by anguish
and my years by groaning;
my strength fails because of my affliction,
and my bones grow weak.
Your suffering may not be the same as my suffering, but we share one hope: Jesus. I am still in the fire, but I have learned a few things that have brought me tremendous victories amidst the darkness.
Spiritual Warfare
As Christians, it is absolutely essential to realize that our struggle is not just against our flesh, but “against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” (Eph 6:12). This means that when you are thinking thoughts that you do not want to think (thoughts that lead to panic, fear, or self harm), those thoughts are not from you: they are from the enemy.
At the onset of my health problems, the pain was so great that I would just dwell on it 24/7, which led to panic attacks as well as thoughts of giving up life. I would have demonic nightmares, then wake up paralyzed with anxiety, and then go about my day with a seemingly irremovable cloud of gloom and doom over me. Realizing this important truth has been a major turning point during my trial. Learning to immediately rebuke and cast out the evil thought or spirit in Jesus name has repeatedly given me immediate peace, and has been a revolutionary realization that has given me tremendous deliverances from anxiety, panic attacks, and demonic nightmares. It is a promise that there is no trial or temptation that we cannot overcome with Christ; He will always provide a way out when we call upon His name (1 Cor 10:13).
Surrender
This trial has also led me to a deeper surrender to God. Many of my fears stem from the numerous factors and circumstances that make hope seem absolutely impossible. To combat this, I learned to wholeheartedly chuck all of these factors and circumstances into God’s hands because He cares for me (1 Peter 5:7). This kind of surrender requires us to withhold nothing from God, to approach Him honestly and tell Him all of our fears and doubts, just as David and Job did in the Bible. That in itself is an act of faith. One important truth has allowed me to discern which fears are good: the only true fear is the fear of God, all other fears are a lie. Anytime I catch myself worrying and fearing, it is a sign that I have not surrendered those things to God. Paul commands us to offer our bodies as a “living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God, which is our proper worship” (Rom 12:1). This is no easy feat, however. Many times, I have to use my own sheer willpower to turn away from these worries and surrender them to God, and let Him deal with these thoughts and circumstances for me.
Childlike Faith
If turning away from the devil’s lies and surrendering to God was the defense, what is the attack? Paul encourages us to take “the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God” (Eph 6:17). This means to go to God’s words–His promises–and take His word at face value. This requires childlike faith. Don’t try to analyze it or try to make exceptions for these simple promises. Just believe and trust in them, because the Word of God is true. When circumstances seem unbearable and fear runs rampant in the midst of countless ‘what ifs’, rebuke those thoughts, surrender them to God, and simply believe that He is using these circumstances for our good, “because we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Rom 8:28). It is from this powerful promise that we can thank God even in the worst of our sufferings, because He said that it is being used for our good. In times where I find myself in complete darkness, I try to figure out what God is trying to do or why He has allowed certain circumstances to happen. I have to remind myself that that’s none of my business, because God never commands us to be able to read His mind; rather, He desires us to simply trust in His name and believe in His promises (Isaiah 50:10). Furthermore, I have found that during this season of distress, reading a children’s book on God’s promises has been surprisingly helpful. During such a season, this devotional medium has been a much more fruitful alternative than, let’s say, an exegetical analysis on Leviticus. What better way to learn childlike faith than to read a children’s book (I’m reading A Treasury of Bible Promises by Helen Haidle) on His promises! I find that the more I meditate and believe in His promises, the more I am reminded of His love for me, and the less I find myself worrying and fearing. Memorizing these promises has equipped me to be ready to counter the enemy’s arrows at any moment. It is simple, yet shockingly powerful.
Obedience
During times of trial, suffering can oftentimes get so painful that it feels impossible for me to love others and encourage them. Who am I to serve God if I am drowning myself? Paul writes that “His grace is sufficient for me, and His power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor 12:9). I remember one time, I was feeling so hopeless that I just cried out to God to encourage and strengthen me. Later that day, a brother in Christ called me and told me some problems he was going through, and because I have struggled with the same problems before, I was able to speak into his life. After that conversation, I was so confused. I asked God to encourage me, but He used me to encourage someone else. Not only was I amazed, but I felt at peace. Time and time again during this trial, God has tangibly reminded me through many situations and experiences that His grace IS sufficient for me, and that when I am weak, He is able to work strongly through me.
Isaiah 58:6-9 talks about fasting, but I strongly believe that it also applies to those who are currently enduring suffering:
6 “Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
7 Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe them,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
8 Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness[a] will go before you,
and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.
9 Then you will call, and the Lord will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
God’s command is to love Him and love our neighbors always (Matt 22:37-30), and it’s His promise that if we seek first His righteousness and obey these commandments, then He will provide for us (Matt 6:33). Instead of focusing all my efforts on my own pain, I will continue to seek the will of God, even though that may be the last thing I want in times of deep suffering. I will continue to do so because God promises me that His grace IS sufficient. Period.
Everything that I mentioned (spiritual warfare, surrender, childlike faith, and obedience) is not just a one-time-remedy that immediately erases all afflictions. Rather, it is a day by day, hour by hour, and minute by minute war that I have to constantly fight. From the moment I wake up to the moment I sleep, I have to constantly be on alert to rebuke evil thoughts, lay my life on the altar in full surrender, turn to God’s word, exercise childlike faith, and obey His commandments. For Jesus commands us that “whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me” (Luke 9:23).
I do not know your suffering, and may not understand it, but Jesus does (Heb 4:15). We might have no idea why we are going through this, but one thing we can be assured of: that our sufferings are being used for our good to help us produce the peaceful fruit of righteousness (Heb 12:11). So let us continue to persevere by faith and not by sight, holding fast and trusting in His promises (2 Cor 5:7).
From,
a fellow suffering Christian.
This piece is a part of a series for Lent 2023. Read more at https://www.yalelogos.com/lent2023